is your mom at the bar?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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