Who wears a wallet chain?!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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