If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
