after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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