Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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