Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
