so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize