Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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