My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
