ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize