people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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