We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
