Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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