This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
