turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
