so explain again why im purple
no
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
time to smoke my breakfast
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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