You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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