are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
