i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize