Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
