I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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