i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
