I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ketchup is God's man juice
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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