Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I want a musical about memes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
