You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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