Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize