My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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