I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
