As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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