I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
