tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wear drunk well.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
