Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize