Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
