It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
