Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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