Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
