i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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