my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
