oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
