i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you would pick up someone in the library
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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