Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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