I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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