That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
