i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize