It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
