i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
