I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just pee around me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
