Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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