what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
