i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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