great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
