he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
