i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize