i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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