I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
