My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
