OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she told me i tasted like america
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
