so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize