This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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