I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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