I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
