its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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