PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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