i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
