Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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