i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
