Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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