I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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