That's intense
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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