fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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