All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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