I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
