What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
