i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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