is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
